Thursday, May 24, 2018

Vernacular Bagmen & Their Ballyard Jargon

Vernacular Bagmen &

Their Ballyard Jargon

by Jamie Jobb

It’s long past time for local baseball fans to update their flashcards, as the Martinez Clippers prepare to pop the cork on their inaugural season in the Pacific Association of Profession Baseball Clubs Thursday (May 31) in newly refurbished Waterfront Park.

On these days before opening night, we conclude our brief crash course in grass-roots baseball jargon. The goal is to help fans comprehend any strange words or other unique catchphrases hurled by these “boys of summer” as they claw through the first season in their spanking new Carquinez Strait ballyard -- until further notice known as “Joe DiMaggio Field Three”.

DISCLAIMER: There are no actual guarantees that players on the Clipper roster will use any of the following arcane expressions on opening night. Indeed, the young team is still trying to figure how to fit catcher Alex Oleszkowicz’s name onto the back of his uniform!


It’s quite probable the Clippers will arrive in town with their own odd way of expressing themselves. After all, this is Martinez – a First Amendment Sister City – and while skipper Chris Decker’s crew may be a bunch of untested rookies, they’ll soon learn that oldtimers around here have their own peculiar way of paraphrasing things. 



Stenciled graffito on old Martinez Train Station - 2017
(iPhone photo by Jamie Jobb)

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The first Eephus Hurler

Eephus ain’t nothing

But a Wild Soft Ball

An “Eephus” is a loopy junk pitch which traces its name back to Biblical times, although its baseball derivation is likewise fabled. The word “efes” is a Hebrew expression that basically means “zero” or “nothing”, but it can also be used to mean “loser”. That’s why pitchers so often avoid this pitch.

Seldom seen in actual games, an Eephus pitch mimics a change-up in that it relies on a surprise delivery and is only thrown in certain gamer situations to catch hitters off guard, causing them to wildly swing and miss. Although it’s not delivered underhand, in flight the ball looks more like a softball pitch.

An Eephus ball is characterized by its very low velocity and its wicked backspin. That’s why it’s also called a “slowball” – one that flutters down onto the batters box, enticing a hitter to swing early.

It’s worth noting that an Eephus should not be confused with a “knuckleball”, which is also characterized by its slow but low arch toward the plate. However, a pitcher can throw a knuckler repeatedly because its flight is so erratic hitters are often baffled. Even the catcher is unsure where any “knuckler” will end up after it leaves the mound!

The main reason an Eephus pitch seldom gets thrown in games is simple: it’s murder on a defense when a hitter clocks wise to the timing of the ball. Kinda like batting practice. Ted Williams notoriously knocked his second of two consecutive Eephus pitches into the seats for a three-run eighth-inning homer in the 1946 All Star Game.

The first major leaguer to hurl an Eephus was Pittsburgh Pirate Rip Sewell – the same guy who served up Ted’s gopher ball, although nobody called it by that name until Rip’s teammate Maurice Van Robays concocted the term. “Eephus ain’t nothing,” he said. “And that’s what that ball is.”

That whole heap of “nothing” only transpired after Sewell applied two loads of buckshot to his big toe in a hunting accident before Christmas, 1941. The toe was attached to Sewell’s right foot which pushed off against the rubber on every pitch. That freak injury forced the right-hander to adjust his throwing motion, eventually leading him to his blooper pitch which caused less pain in the foot on the mound.

In the early 1940s, Sewell relied on his Eephus to craft twin 21-win seasons. He also pitched in four consecutive All-Star games. No other big league pitcher has been able to use Eephus to such dramatic effect. And, it can be surmised, that no other pitcher would ever want to retrace Sewell’s odd outdoorsman's method of achieving success with such a goofball!

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Twangy Bats &

Banjo Hitters

Martinez is a musicians hangout with live music on live stages most nights of the week around town. Armando’s, our eclectic music hall down by the tracks, has a national reputation and often features outstanding talent, including a band with seven banjos!

Baseball does not shy away from its own musical references. And while a banjo is quite useful as a tool to enliven music halls, it’s quite another thing to bring such an instrument with you when you step up to home plate.

A “banjo hitter” lacks punch or power in the batters box, so he usually knocks “Texas League” bloop singles into the shortfields – just beyond the reach of any infielder or outfielder. Or he knocks infield “scratch hits”, “slap hits” or “punch hits”. Or maybe sometimes a surprise “drag bunt”. The point is the batter swings with easy restraint, just enough to get the ball in play somewhere -- anywhere! This is otherwise known as “Hit ‘em where they ain’t!”

The term “banjo hitter” originated for purely sonic reasons – players recalling the sound such a hit makes when ball makes contact with bat to an accompanying country twang.  It remains to be seen if the Clippers develop a team with at least one such sagacious hitter. If they do, you can expect that hitter to also be swift afoot.

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Paint The Black

Any contending ball club needs great pitching. And it helps to have one or two “aces” who can “paint the black”. This term is often tossed between catchers and pitchers. It refers to the black trim around home plate.

These black marks help umpires determine the edges of home in their peripheral vision. A pitcher who “paints the black” is someone who can throw strikes on the extreme right and left sides of the plate. But if a pitcher can’t get these tough inside/outside strikes, batters eventually end up collecting “bags” or “sacks” which sometimes leads to “runs”!

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Around the Horn

A baseball goes “around the horn” after a pitcher’s last warmup toss, or after a strikeout with the bases empty for the first or second out of an inning. The term may also be applied to double or triple plays. “Around the horn” is such a ritual, most infielders participate without thinking much about it.

The term recalls a time long before air flight, when transcontinental travel was long and arduous – like sailing around Africa via Cape Horn, also known to weary steamship travelers as “around The Horn”.

For anyone keeping score, an “around-the-horn” ball often goes “2-to-5-to-6-to-4” – from catcher to third base to shortstop to second base around the infield. This is baseball body language for the defensive team, visibly demonstrating that it is opposed to forward movement of any baserunners, who all must run counter clockwise – against the grain of this basic infielders ritual.

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