Further Film Reviews: First of Two Parts
wild-hair Alistair Sim, familiar face of British comedy
Brit Wit: A-H
By Jamie Jobb
One great way for an American filmmaking student to study “foreign films” is to binge on British movies in all their luscious regionally-convoluted “foreign-sounding” English. It helps to know that in addition to its rigid class structure, Great Britain also has a unique diversity of widely-scattered and nationally-respected regional accents, which help specify the hard-hitting hilarity further. To see those accents clearly mapped out in a 90-second session, see Andrew Jack’s incredibly instructive video.
These pages have previously discussed serious British Comedy from the perspectives of Anti-War Comedies, Ealing Studios and director/deviser Mike Leigh. Here we examine twenty-one examples of dry British humor filtered through their funny “foreign” films. It might help to have a map to regionalize locations when exploring these movies – oddball proper names help distill this other-worldly humor.
We tried to avoid slapdash British dipstick comedy in order to concentrate on the more verbally-challenged offerings from Our Motherland. The films listed here also showcase the whip-crack screwball wit of trained on-stage actors who learned comic timing at the feet of their audience. These brief reviews are based on salient facts of each film with quotations from characters to spark a viewer’s deeper understanding of the work as “comedy” – to be enjoyed without subtitles (although they help).
* * *
Maria Grazia Buccella chats with Peter Sellers in fare il-ventriloquo
After the Fox (1966)
"If only I could steal enough to become an honest man." Protean prison-escape artist Aldo "The Fox" Vanucci (Peter Sellers) has “very good bone structure” as he masters his many disguises – priest, tourist, policeman, prison shrink and famous movie director “Federico Fabrizi” – while he completeshis masterpiece, The Great Gold Robbery of Cairo, to save his sister Gina Vanucci, aka GinaRomantica, (Britt Ekland) from sordid street life. “Do you know how many good kissers are starving in Italy?”
“You're even more beautiful in person than you are in real life." Sis is wannabe starlet who has her own hands full chasing falling star Tony Powell (venerated Victor Mature) who knows that at his age, he “would rather get laughter than sympathy”.
Meanwhile, Mama Vanucci (Lydia Brazzi) doesn’t need a new stove because “I don’t want push buttons. I want grandchildren.” However “unimportant” mystery-woman (luscious Maria Grazia Buccella) is not a candidate because she can’t speak for herself, but only as Agent of Okra (Akim Tamiroff). “I don’t smoke, but the girl does.”
“In films, either you’ve got a face or you don’t got a face. You have got a face!” Directed by Vittorio De Sica, written by Neil Simon and Cesare Zavattini. This farce spoofs De Sica’s own Neo-Realism, Fellini's La Dolce Vita, Antonioni's Eclisse and Huston's Beat the Devil – at least – in his “scene about nothing”. De Sica: “I want more sand in the desert. More sand! More wind!” (British-Italian)
* * *
Neil Innes, Rikki Fataar, Eric Idle and John Halsey as The Legendary Lads
All You Need is Cash: The Rutles (1978)
"God never had a hit record!" Then again, God never was asked to join the Rutles, "a musical legend that will last a lunchtime". England's Rutles – Dirk McQuickly (Eric Idle), Ron Nasty (Neil Innes), Stig O'Hara (Rikki Fataar) and Barry Wom (John Halsey) – were known in the 1960s worldwide as "The PreFab Four". And rock-and-roll was never the same ... even then.
"Their first album was made in 20 minutes. The second took even longer." Their manager Leggy Mountbatten (Terence Bayler) hated their music but "loved their trousers". Needless to say, Leggy's "father was so snobby he wore swimming trunks in the bath, to stop him looking down on the unemployed".
Innes' sly lyrics and music brilliantly capture essence of Beatles' sound with tunes like "Hold My Hand – Yeah, Yeah", "Cheese and Onions", "Ouch!", "Love Life", "Piggy in the Middle" and lyrics like "You're so pusillanimous, Oh yeah/Nature's callin' and I must go there/A glass of wine/With Gertrude Stein/I know I'll never share/But I don't mind/That's just the kind/Of cross each man must bear".
Idle's Saturday-Night Python mocumentary style sends up "Beatlemania" with canny cameos by George Harrison, Paul Simon, Ron Wood, Michael Palin, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Bianca and Mick Jagger.
Directed by Idle and Gary Weis; narrative written by Idle, music and lyrics by Innes. "I know I can't hear you, but I can pick up what you're saying, baby!" (British)
* * *
whole world is totally unprepared for the “girls” of this School for Young Ladies
The Belles of St. Trinians (1954)
"You see, in other schools girls are sent out quite unprepared into a merciless world, but when our girls leave here it is the merciless world that has to be prepared." Headmistress of St. Trinians School for Young Ladies, Millicent Fritten (Alastair Sim) knows her institution is "just a teeny-weeny bit unorthodox. But that's better than being old-fashioned, isn't it?"
Indeed! Smoking in class and on hockey fields, distilling gin in chemistry lab, being quizzed on "the six best vintage years of champagne since 1928" in Geography class.
“The gymnasium was insured! The sports pavilion was not.” However it takes St. Trinians' Old Girls to save day when Millicent's twin brother Clarence (Sim also), an "unscrupulous rogue", wagers against his sister. “I cannot afford to have continual arson about in my school.”
“Oh, this place always reminds me of a ladies powder room in Port Said.” Directed by Frank Launder, written by Launder, Sidney Gilliat and Val Valentine. "Girls, Girls … you know perfectly well that pets are not allowed in dormitories." Especially such pets who pay ten-to-one if they win Gold Cup to settle serious student debt. “Oh dear, I told Bessie to be careful with that nitro-glycerine!” (British)
* * *
Sabrina lavishes the attention of room-full of bobbies
Blue Murder at St. Trinians (1957)
"International good will, they said it was." Roman Prince Bruno (Guido Lorraine) wants to wed, so he consults "Flash Harry" Edwards (George Cole), cockney chair of St. Trinians Marriage Bureau. “The French are so romantic!” “Yes, but are they sincere?”
Flash Harry battles "flaming bureautocracy" to rig UNESCO exam so eligible brides can skip school for European grand tour chauffeured by Capt. Carlton Romney (Terry-Thomas) of Dreadnought Motor Traction Co. "Dreadnought by name, dreadnought by nature."
“You see, I’m here on a special case.” Romney is smitten by undercover cop Sgt. Ruby Gates (magnificent Joyce Grenfell) on trail of diamond thief Joe Mangan (Lionel Jeffries) who masquerades as St. Trinians' new headmistress, but knows “I’m such a crazy, mixed-up policewoman.”
“Well, how do you think I feel? One second we’re swapping sweet nothings to a Neapolitan love song, and the next moment we’re up to our nostrils in Agatha Christie. A chap doesn’t know where he stands!” Directed by Frank Launder, written by Launder, Sidney Gilliat and Val Valentine. Sequel to Belles of (see above) surrenders no steam in giddy chase through ruins of Rome. "I don't sleep anymore. I'm afraid to. I might dream." (British)
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Lusty Raquel Welch is last-sin-standing of The Seven Deadlies
Bedazzled (1967)
"You see, your soul is rather like your appendix, totally expendable. There was a time when it did have a function, but nowadays the vast majority of people never use it." Wimpy short-order cook Stanley Moon (Dudley Moore) pines for true love, Wimpy waitress Margaret Spencer (Eleanor Bron). But because he can't communicate his feelings for her, woefully tongue-tied Stanley ties different kind of knot. "You realize that suicide is a criminal offense; in less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it."
Befriending him in his Hour of Need is Lucifer, The Prince of Darkness (Peter Cook), who grants Stanley seven wishes in exchange for "global and universal rights" to his soul. "Standard contract...gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life: seven days of the week, seven deadly sins, seven seas, seven brides for seven brothers."
Satan, aka George Spiggott, employs Anger, Vanity, Envy, Gluttony, Avarice, Sloth, and Lillian Lust (Raquel Welch) in Rendezvous Club, his mod London cellar HQ. "What rotten sins I've got working for me! I 'spose it's the wages."
Cook and Moore revisit Faust with updated 1960s twist, "The Magic Words: Julie Andrews!" not to mention somersaulting nuns on trampolines. Directed by Stanley Donen, written by Cook and Moore. "I knew you weren't all bad." "Of course not, I've just been thoroughly misunderstood."(British)
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** *
brassiere-builder Richard Attenborough shines in his element
The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom (1968)
"Happiness is more than just feeling good."Bored London housewife and Ohio transplant Harriet Blossom (Shirley MacLaine) finds herself lost in twelve-year marriage.
Her husband, brassiere manufacturer and wannabe conductor Robert (Richard Attenborough) – "The Orpheus of the Undie World" -- finds himself in a "sexual vacuum" despite his universal inflatable bra that "will fit any woman, anywhere, at any time".
Orphaned factory mechanic Ambrose Tuttle (James Booth) finds himself, hardly “a teenager”, living in Blossoms' attic as Harriet's secret lover after being sent there by her husband to repair a sewing machine.
"I live an ideal existence. Plenty of time to teach myself new skills and hobbies...A delightful female companion only a hop, skip and a jump away. And the comforting knowledge that when I'm not with her, she's in the care of a good and devoted husband."
Absurdist 1960s surreal psychedelic fantasy is G-rated sex-farce propelled by silly sleuthing of detective sergeant Dylan (Freddie Jones) and high-tech pop psychology. "I agree, there's more to love than sex.” Directed by Joseph McGrath, screenplay by Alec Coppel and Denis Norden based on Coppel's play which was based on a 1913 true story. “There's also more to sex than love." (British)
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masked up pre-Covid and ready for Her Royal Highness to visit
Britannia Hospital (1982)
"This isn't the Nairobi Hilton, this is a British hospital!" Chaos reins as Old Britannia braces for 500th anniversary and regal visit from H.R.H. (Gladys Crosbie). Everyone wants pre-Thatcher free lunch with Her Majesty: trade union tyrants, third-world rioters, private patient dissents, perfectionist painters, BBC film crew. "That's a crowd!"
Senior administrator Vincent Potter (Leonard Possiter) has his hands full balancing Buckingham etiquette with labor-pain and blackout. "Don't you call us men -- we are staff!" Confederation of Health Service Employees (COHSE) Branch Secretary Phyllis Grimshaw (Joan Plowright) knows "an insult to me is an insult to every non-skilled operative in this hospital". National Union of Public Employees (NUPE) rabble-rouser Ben Keating (Robin Askwith) comprehends favoritism, up close and personal. "I'm sure you'll agree boys and girls, this represents a significant victory for democracy. Thank you."
Britannia house DJ Cheerful Bernie (Richard Griffiths) also knows how to spin revolution. "OK, OK. We'll blame it on the bombers." Professor "J.M." Millar (Graham Crowden), aka "Overlord", merely conceives "man re-made" in his top-secret Genesis project – if only he could tame "the power of the pineal gland".
Renegade peeping tele-journalist Michael Travis (Malcolm McDowell), aka Spider, is "a citizen of the world" who suddenly finds soul-on-ice in Millar's Center for Advanced Surgical Science. "I'm not paying 200 quid a day for an orange!"
Directed by Lindsay Anderson and written by David Sherwin, this seething satire stirs crazy Cuisinart of brain soup, Bonsai Chemicals, Auld Lang Syne, Rudyard Kipling Ward and 65 ambassador-class lunches from Fortnum & Mason. "Have you ever wondered how God felt on the sixth day of creation?" (British)
Pete Postlethwaite leads Grimley Marching Colliery Band
Brassed Off (1995)
"Now I know there's a spot of bother at The Pit, but that's something separate. This is music and it's music that matters." Yorkshire coalminers may become redundant on Tory Thatcher's economic scale, but proud brass-band leader Danny Ormondroyd (Pete Postlethwaite) knows his Grimley Colliery Band needs another kind of boost. "All the right notes were not necessarily in the right order."
Debt-riddled son Phillip, aka Mr. Chuckles, (Stephen Tompkinson) gets squeezed between trombone of Dad's obsession and impending doom of Grimley's mine closure. "Is that man bothering you?" "Of course he is, he's me Dad." Help arrives on high heels of cost-benefit analyst Gloria "Flower" Mullins (Tara Fitzgerald) who inherits horn of plenty from Grimley granddad. "That girl blows flügel like a dream."
Torn between loyalty and love is Flower's old flame Andy Barrow (Ewan McGregor). "It takes a special talent, that – practicing, without your instrument." Rousing renditions of Death or Glory, Pomp and Circumstance, O Danny Boy and Rodrigo's "Concerto de Orange Juice" propel story to inspired William Tell flourish in London's Royal Albert Hall where “Matewan” meets “Ballroom Dancing”.
Written and directed by Mark Herman, with an Ealing Studio flare. "Over hundred years this band's been goin'. Two world wars, three disasters, seven strikes, one bloody big Depression, and band played on every flamin' time." (British)
* * *
non-actor Eamonn Owens is a rare character
The Butcher Boy (1997)
"It'll be a bitter day for this town if the world comes to an end, that's all I can say." Bitter, indeed! Outside world comes a-crashin' down on Northern Ireland through comic-book primary color and black-and-white wireless screen. Like JFK's 1962 Cuban missile crisis. Or Geronimo! Or Mack the Knife. Or The Fugitive. No tv? You can always watch "The Bogman Tango" -- although everyone knows "When a lady from Nebraska's at a party in Alaska/You must never do the tango with an Eskimo".
In his discombobulated world, "The Incredible" Francie Brady (non-actor Eamonn Owens) becomes cherubic adolescent bully who petrifies hometown of Carn. "There's no denyin' it Francie, you're a rare character."
Francie's suicidal Ma (Aisling O'Sullivan), "the bun woman", fiddles with kitchen rope while Francie observes: "What's a chair doin' on the table?" Francie's pugilistic pub-lout Da, Benny "Tarzan" Brady (Stephen Rea), is "By Christ, a great musicanor" and "the best drinker in the town". But "The thing about runnin' away from home is you can't bring your mother with ya."
Francie believes he and his best-friend Joe Purcell (Alan Boyle) are "blood brothers until the end of time" – whenever that may be. Together he feels they're forever united against arch-nemesis Mrs. Nugent (Fiona Shaw) who dared call Francie's family "pigs" after Joe and Francie stole her ripe Cox's Orange Pippins. "Who wants to be Mr. and Mrs. Monkey anyhow?"
Directed by Neil Jordan; screenplay by Jordan and Patrick McCabe, based on his novel. Horrific tale of trans-Atlantic pop culture gone haywire is draped over ham-on-wry wisecracking narrative that gives queer voice to Francie's novel world – filtered on film through one incredible wild child actor who had never seen a movie before acting in this one! And his story is not for everyone. "We won't be seein' John Wayne round here again." (Ireland)
* * *
Flora Newbigin, Tom Felton and Jim Broadbent hide in kitchen
The Borrowers (1997)
"What about the pen by the phone? And the Christmas tree lights, remember? And the needle-and-thread you left on the bed? Matches, batteries, candles, safety pins, dental floss ... Something is taking our stuff and I'm gonna find out what it is." Pete Lender (Bradley Pierce) may be ten-years-old, but he knows "there must be a reason why we can never find anything in this house."
However his parents, Joe (Aden Gillet) and Victoria (Doon Mackichan), have greater worry – saving that house from calamitous clutches of wicked attorney Ocious P. Potter (John Goodman). "You find those Borrowers, or I'll make sure you never kill in this town again!"
Luckily for The Lenders, thieving Potter doesn't know "the First Rule of Borrowing". Helping him learn are The Clocks – Pod (Jim Broadbent), Homily (Celia Imrie), Arrietty (Flora Newbigin) and Peagreen (Tom Felton) – House Borrowers" who "depend on Beans for a living".
Aiding The Clocks in their hour of need is Spud Spiller (Raymond Pickard) who certainly knows his way around town underground. "We may be small, but heaven help anyone who thinks he can squish us."
In miniature magic world of power-lock tape-measure elevators and dental-floss backpacks, this Neo-classic grown-up kids movie has more charm that any dozen computer-generation mega-studio Shrunk-The-Kids extravaganzas. "I never knew there was so much world in the world!" (British-American)
* * *
Alec Guinness seeks helping hand from fellow social-climber Glynis Johns
The Card (1952)
"I suppose you fancy yourself dancing with your betters, eh?" Opportunistic son of washer-woman E.H. "Denry" Machin (Alec Guinness) likes “to give Providence a helping hand” as he works his way up from solicitor's clerk to mayor of Industrial Revolution pottery town of Bursley. “You can live where ya like, but I’m stayin’ here.”
"He was not really dishonest." Opportunistic ballroom tutor Miss Ruth Earp (delightful Glynis Johns) helps Denry crash Municipal Ball hosted by the Countess of Chell (Valerie Hobson) to gambol with nobility. "You've no idea how money goes!" And while Denry knows he doesn’t know how to dance, he’s confident “I’ll pick it up.” Tagging along as chaperone is Nellie Cotterill (Petula Clark) who fancies Denry too. “I’ve been hearing a lot about you.”
“It’s all very well to talk, but it won’t get you anywhere. Facts are the real talkers. How are you going to get new blood with transfer fees as high as they are?” Despite Ruth's own aspirations, she begrudges Denry's social clamber. "I collect rents, you know." "Oh indeed, I thought you were a gentleman." Fate bodes eternal, until their ship goes out.
“What you’re asking for is not better management, but something for nothing.” Also known as The Promoter. Directed by Ronald Neame, screenplay by Eric Ambler based on novel by Arnold Bennett. Plot thickens around The Five Towns, a lost and prosperous wallet, run-away furniture carriage,“evening dress essential” and football parades. "I think I can tell you that, Mr. Duncalf. It’s quite simple. He's been identified with the great cause of cheering us all up." (British)
* * *
Alex Norton and Bill Paterson settle Mr. Bunny’s territory
Comfort and Joy (1984)
"Alan, you have not been yourself lately." "Well that's just the point. I wasn't myself before, when youthought I was myself. But now I am myself. Or very nearly." Jilted Metro-sound happy-talk DJ Alan "Dickey" Bird (Bill Paterson) must be “crackers, mad or crazy” as he dreams of reuniting with lost love and kleptomaniac Maddie (Eleanor David), all the while trying to stay upbeat for holiday season, pushing Thrifty-Pops and Minty-Chews on his Dickey Bird Early Worm Show. "She left the washing machine. That could be a good sign, eh?"
Although all of Glasgow wants his autograph, Dickey Bird lingers lonely until he finds new meaning as mediator of territorial spat between mob-run Italian ice cream warriors led by Mr. McCool (Roberto Bernardi) and Mr. Bunny (Alex Norton) "formerly Mr. Softy – no more".
“If you’ve got to steal things, then at least be practical. We need onions. We don’t need more Christmas lights!” Dickey Bird takes their Yuletide Cold War public and helps them realize "600 million Chinese can't be wrong."
“Have another couple of drinks, and it will all come back.” Written and directed by master of gentle irony, Bill Forsyth who mixes media and mafia for special effect. "I tell ya that once Frosty-Hots reach the Eskimos, they won't need igloos anymore." (Scotland)
* * *
Nobel laureate Peter O’Toole needs a single fertile egg
Creator (1985)
"There are too many damn machines around here. We're all missing The Big Picture...Twelve credits probably isn't enough, it's so big." Large university medical center tolerates cigar-chomping Nobel laureate Dr. Harry Wolper (Peter O'Toole) who teaches "the love formula"and gives cynical lectures on "the Profit Incentive in Misdiagnosis".
To resurrect his late wife, Harry also erects uncertified backyard lab. "Here I negotiate with God." He only needs one fertile egg which he solicits from feisty wannabe student-bride Meli (Mariel Hemingway). "New romances are flourishing between enzymes and proteins."
Just dying to know what's cooking in Harry's backyard is rival researcher Sid Kullenbeck, Ph.D. (David Ogden Stiers). "Science is a global enterprise. It's all community property."
Meanwhile Harry's loyal graduate assistant Boris Lafkin (Vincent Spano) builds robot alarm clock but must trust "well-informed blind belief" when it comes to true love Barbara Spencer (Virginia Madsen). Directed by Ivan Passer, screenplay by Jeremy Leven based on his novel. As Friedrich Hegel noted: "Nothing great has ever been accomplished without passion." (British-American)
punctual John Cleese can’t believe he caught the wrong train
Clockwise (1986)
"Nine-twenty's not Starting Greek, 9:20's not being-driven-to-the-railway-station. What's 9:20? Executions!" Brian Stimpson (John Cleese) admits he's "a rather overwrought headmaster of a rather obscure maintained comprehensive school". But one must adhere strictly to schedule!
Until one boards wrong train for Norwich Headmaster's Conference where one is featured speaker. Suspecting hanky-panky is uninvited Mrs. Stimpson (Alison Steadman). "I haven't said anything about his work, work, work. I haven't said anything about his everlasting conservative meetings. But I'm not going to put up with this!"
Also suspicious is Mr. Jolly (Stephen Moore) who can't complete a single sentence. Not quite oblivious are Laura Wisely (Sharon Maiden), the truant student chauffeur, and Pat (Penelope Wilton), the more punctual Ex. "It's not the despair, Laura. I can stand the despair. It's the hope!"
Directed by Christopher Morahan, written by Michael Frayn. Antic midland screwball chase gallops toward 5:00 p.m. deadline with full gale farce of broken telephone box, kidnapped old flame, sherry-glass dementia, monastery mud-bath, and He Would Valiant Be. "I'm not late. I'm merely in a hurry."(British)
* * *
Rufus Sewell and Kate Beckinsdale contemplate real rural life
Cold Comfort Farm (1994)
"The seeds wither and the earth will not nourish 'em. The cows are barren, the sows are farrand. All is turned to sourness and ruin ... There's a curse upon the place." Abruptly orphaned wannabe novelist and Lambeth society lass Flora Poste (Kate Beckinsdale) may be "Robert Poste's child" but she was "never very close"to her parents.
Flora wants to leave London and "learn about real life". What better place than Cold Comfort in rustic Sussex where great aunt Ada Doom (Sheila Burrell) "ain't like other people's grandmothers" for she "saw something nasty in the woodshed"?
Unable to forsake Ada's bleak estate are Flora's odd country cousins – the Starkadders: wide-eyed Judith (terrific Eileen Atkins), evangelical Amos (Ian McKellen), nymph Elfine (Maria Miles), fastidious Reuben (Ivan Kaye) and randy Seth (Rufus Sewell), another Small-Town Cowboy who dreams of The Talkies. Thank God, Flora knows Hollywood Czar Earl P. Neck (Harry Ditson) who takes "ordinary people, and I turn 'em into asteroids".
Directed by John Schlesinger; screenplay by Malcolm Bradbury, based on novel by Stella Gibbons. Schlesinger's shrewd latter-day Ealing gem plows fecund fields of "little rubber bowler hat", The Condemned Man, Church of the Quivering Brethren, Higher Common Sense and "The Counting". "Believe me, it's red meat time in the movies." "Well there's plenty of red meat at Cold Comfort Farm."(British)
* * *
Alec Guinness finds himself a detective who can’t make a “dishonest living”
Father Brown (1954)
"As I was walking up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish the man would go away." From his pulpit Father Ignatius Brown (Alec Guinness) preaches: "Perhaps you think a crime horrible because you cannot imagine yourself committing it."
Father Brown not only imagines – he practices what he preaches, while fancying himself quite an amateur detective. Leery of his talent are The Bishop (Cecil Parker) and Inspector Valentine of the Yard (Bernard Lee) who can't trust Father Brown to caretake his own cross. "You're clearly incapable of earning a dishonest living."
Meanwhile felonious art collector Gustav Flambeau (Peter Finch), "the human chameleon", has eluded police in five countries for ten years, but has left curious chateau clues: "A tray to be taken somewhere and nowhere to take it. Dogs panting with heat when they could be cool. A useless spit oiled for use. It's all so nonsensical, it must make sense!" Indeed, Father Brown knows his "donkey's whiskers" from his "hoisters".
Directed by Robert Hamer. Screenplay by Hamer and Thelma Schnee based on stories of G.K. Chesterton, a well-oiled comic-mystery also known as The Detective. "I came expecting to find a desperate secret and a desperate man. I find instead a rocking horse." (British)
* * *
Freddie Davies, George Carl and Lee Evans wait for punchlines to land
Funny Bones (1995)
"A boxer kills a guy in the ring and he maybe gets another chance. A clown kills a guy in the ring, and you have to admit that's bad box office!" Cheesy Vegas comic George Fawkes (Jerry Lewis), "Mr. Originality himself", steals thunder of no-talent stand-up son Tommy (Oliver Platt) at his opening night on The Strip.
Naturally, Tommy bombs with punchlines like "dogs can look sheepish", so he bags his dead-end career and returns as incognito talent-scout to family vaudeville roots in Blackpool, the joker's Mecca.
There he meets "the funniest people Blackpool ever saw": Bruno (Freddie Davies), Thomas (George Carl), Katie (Leslie Caron) and their "son" Jack (British nitwit Lee Evans) – the Parker family – who seem oddly familiar and have more than a few secret routines hiding up their sleeves. "It's like we all wanted to have the funniest child at the expense of everything else. And our prayers were answered ... too loudly."
Directed by Peter Chelsom, written by Chelsom and Peter Flannery. Intricate bitter-sweet yarn of backward-talking men, musical saws, sway-poles, wax eggs, "the plant of immortality" and performers who know how to "clap for yourself". "I've called in some more men. I don't like it. I've seen...faces. Cleopatra. Slaves. But it's all getting a bit French, and I don't like it." (British)
* * *
marsh girl Honor Blackman sniffing for fishing news
Green Grow the Rushes (1951)
"Fishing has to be taken seriously, or the creatures don't participate." Small-time trawler operator Robert "Bob" Hammond (very young Richard Burton) seems "such a funny man to be a fisherman."Bob certainly doesn't "like people with long noses. Especially girls."
Neophyte Anderida Post reporter and "marsh girl" Meg Cuffley (very young Honor Blackman) is "unhealthily discriminating" as she sniffs trail of local story that "wouldn't be news to most of your readers".
But what's Hammond hiding here in faraway southeast England behind Vale of Kent chartered Corporation of The Liberty of Anderida Marsh? "You realize you cooked our goose ... well, pickled our ducks anyway."
Capt. Cedrick Biddle (Roger Livesey) may run good and tight ship Frolic, but he never refers to himself in the first-person singular. "To tell you the truth, we were not quite so mortified as some folks thought we should ought to have been."
Only after gale force deposits Frolic in duck pond of farmer Joseph Bainbridge (Russell Waters), do "Whitehall johnnies" from Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries – Spencer Prudhoe (Geoffry Keen), Herbert Hewitt (Cyril Smith) and Roderick Fisherwick (Colin Gordon) – suspect worst. "These people don't deserve to be governed!"
Directed by Derek Twist, screenplay by Twist and Howard Clewes based on Clewes' novel. Twist and Clewes conspire with dandy brandy, bubbly ducks, A Sailor And A Girl in delightful "Ealing comedy" not made at Ealing Studios (also known as Brandy Ashore, not to be confused with Whiskey Galore.)"Fish, Mr. Hewitt, like sheep and lily-whites look very much the same." (British)
* * *
Ian Carmichael and Peter Sellers compare ecclesiastical readings
Heavens Above! (1963)
"In a place like this, it's only the fires of hell that keep the churches warm." Clerical error dispatches righteous Rev. John E. Smallwood (Peter Sellers) from prison chapel to meek parish in Orbiston Parva known throughout kingdom as home of "Tranquilax – three-in-one: sedative, stimulant and laxative".
The right reverend takes his charity literally but speaks his peace. "There aren't enough real Christians about to feed one decent lion."
Rev. Smallwood shelters evicted brood of unmarried sinners Rene and Harry Smith (Irene Handl and Eric Sykes) and appoints black dustman Matthew Robinson (Brock Peters) as vicar's warden. Joining his motley flock is town matriarch Lady Despard (Isabel Jeans) who redistributes her wealth in philanthropic fit of Biblical proportions.
Taking dim view of such improvidence is Despard butler Simpson (Bernard Miles), not to mention Church of England hierarchy. "No good hoping for credit in the next world until they've built up a balance in this. Same as banking." Smallwood's endeavors lead to bellicose neighbors and 60% unemployment. "We need profits, not prophets."
Directed by John Boulting, written by Boulting and Frank Harvey. Church-state satire still bites after six decades. "I tell you it has to be nipped in the bud before we're in it up to our necks. Otherwise every sinner in the place will be expecting a reward instead of the damnation he so richly deserves." (British)
* * *
Peter Ustinov suffers practicing woodwinds of Maggie Smith
Hot Millions (1968)
"A criminal is lost without information and it matters little to his twisted mind whence that information comes." Because he was"caught by computer, not by the police", ex-convict embezzler Marcus Pendleton (Peter Ustinov) borrows identity of "Caesar Smith" to infiltrate American conglomerate Ta-Can-Co's London mainframe and set up dummy companies in Paris, Rome and Frankfurt. “In fact, he’s been seen playing golf without a ball lately.”
“As my broker always says, the first million is always the hardest.” Duped by his scheme are executive-VP Carlton J. Klemper (Karl Malden) and suspicious data-processor Willard C. Gnatpole (Bob Newhart) who realize "there's a sort of lunatic poetry" in what Caesar says. "If I do get lonely, I think I'd probably, you know, keep to myself."
“I’m in the puddin’ club. I’m going to be a mother.” Caesar's dim-bulb secretary Patty Terwilliger (Maggie Smith) knows "A woman's place is in the home, innit? Making money."
“If this keeps up, I shall violate a lifetime principle and play bridge with women.” Directed by Eric Till, written by Ira Wallach and Ustinov. In the end, everybody realizes "There's nothing more beautiful on Earth than friendship." "I agree. It is beautiful, particularly between people." (British)
* * *
with one shoe in the rain, Dustin Hoffman finds himself an unlikely Hero
Hero (1993)
"Wow! But you always said 'Keep a low profile'?" "Right." "And you said 'Never stick your neck out'?" "Right." "Well, how could you go on a burning plane and save 54 people?" "Well ... I screwed up." Chicago rug-cleaner and full-time petty thief Bernie Laplante (Dustin Hoffman) may be "this little sleazebag" who has "more stories than a newspaper" due to his "tendency to exaggerate". He may even steal his own attorney's credit cards, but "Hey, I don't take credit. I'm a cash kinda guy."
Even Bernie's embittered ex-wife Evelyn (Joan Cusack) will admit he's "at his best when there's a crisis". Intrepid Channel 4 award-winner Gale Gayley (Geena Davis) knows good stories when they hit her, for she can "find the human interest in the grim, unending woe that pours from the wounded heart of the heartless metropolis."
Gale may chase "excellence in the pursuit of truth" by "pretending to be a person", but really she's "just a reporter" who understands "reporters have to rise above their hormones".
Then there's Gale's savior, "The Angel" of Midwestern Flight 104, reluctant homeless samaritan and hero-celeb John Bubber (Andy Garcia) who may be "Hell of a guy. Vietnam. Plane Crash. Now miracles!" But Bubber feels his lucky life lacks something vital. "What have I done? I was dirt poor and useless, but I was honest."
"There ya go, tv news! You can't believe one word you hear on tv." Directed by Stephen Frears, written by David Webb Peoples whose dazzling script drives inspired and funny high-wire thriller to hard edge of Drake Hotel ledge with scalding cops coffee, Bubber doll autograph, Silver Mike cached in couch, and "I don't need your problems!" (British-American)
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