Vernacular
Bagmen &
Their
Ballyard Jargon
by
Jamie Jobb
It’s
long past time for local baseball fans to update their flashcards, as
the Martinez Clippers prepare to pop the cork on their inaugural
season in the Pacific
Association of Profession Baseball Clubs Thursday (May 31) in newly
refurbished Waterfront Park.
On
these days before opening night, we conclude our brief crash course in
grass-roots baseball jargon. The goal is to help fans comprehend any
strange words or other unique catchphrases hurled by these “boys of
summer” as they claw through the first season in their spanking new
Carquinez Strait ballyard -- until further notice known as “Joe
DiMaggio Field Three”.
DISCLAIMER:
There are no actual guarantees that players on the Clipper roster
will use any of the following arcane expressions on opening night.
Indeed, the young team is still trying to figure how to fit catcher
Alex Oleszkowicz’s name onto the back of his uniform!
It’s
quite probable the Clippers will arrive in town with their own odd
way of expressing themselves. After all, this is Martinez – a
First Amendment Sister City – and while skipper Chris Decker’s
crew may be a bunch of untested rookies, they’ll soon learn that
oldtimers around here have their own peculiar way of paraphrasing
things.
Stenciled
graffito on old Martinez Train Station - 2017
(iPhone
photo by Jamie Jobb)
* * *
The
first Eephus Hurler
Eephus
ain’t nothing
But
a Wild
Soft Ball
An
“Eephus” is a loopy junk pitch which traces its name back
to Biblical times, although its baseball derivation is likewise
fabled. The word “efes” is a Hebrew expression that basically
means “zero” or “nothing”, but it can also be used to
mean “loser”. That’s why pitchers so often avoid this pitch.
Seldom
seen in actual games, an Eephus pitch mimics a change-up in that it
relies on a surprise delivery and is only thrown in certain gamer
situations to catch hitters off guard, causing them to wildly swing
and miss. Although it’s not delivered underhand, in flight the
ball looks more like a softball pitch.
An
Eephus ball is characterized by its very low velocity and its wicked
backspin. That’s why it’s also called a “slowball” – one
that flutters down onto the batters box, enticing a hitter to swing
early.
It’s
worth noting that an Eephus should not be confused with a
“knuckleball”, which is also characterized by its slow but low
arch toward the plate. However, a pitcher can throw a knuckler
repeatedly because its flight is so erratic hitters are often
baffled. Even the catcher is unsure where any “knuckler” will
end up after it leaves the mound!
The
main reason an Eephus pitch seldom gets thrown in games is simple:
it’s murder on a defense when a hitter clocks wise to the timing of
the ball. Kinda like batting practice. Ted Williams notoriously
knocked his second of two consecutive Eephus pitches into the seats for a three-run eighth-inning homer
in the 1946 All Star Game.
The
first major leaguer to hurl an Eephus was Pittsburgh Pirate Rip
Sewell – the same guy who served up Ted’s gopher ball, although
nobody called it by that name until Rip’s teammate Maurice Van
Robays concocted the term. “Eephus ain’t nothing,” he said.
“And that’s what that ball is.”
That
whole heap of “nothing” only transpired after Sewell applied two
loads of buckshot to his big toe in a hunting accident before
Christmas, 1941. The toe was attached to Sewell’s right foot which
pushed off against the rubber on every pitch. That freak injury
forced the right-hander to adjust his throwing motion, eventually
leading him to his blooper pitch which caused less pain in the foot on the mound.
In
the early 1940s, Sewell relied on his Eephus to craft twin 21-win
seasons. He also pitched in four consecutive All-Star games. No
other big league pitcher has been able to use Eephus to such dramatic
effect. And, it can be surmised, that no other pitcher would ever
want to retrace Sewell’s odd outdoorsman's method of achieving success with such
a goofball!
* * *
Twangy
Bats &
Banjo
Hitters
Martinez is a
musicians hangout with live music on live stages most nights of the week
around town. Armando’s, our eclectic music hall down by the
tracks, has a national reputation and often features outstanding
talent, including a band with seven
banjos!
Baseball
does not shy away from its own musical references. And while a banjo
is quite useful as a tool to enliven music halls, it’s quite
another thing to bring such an instrument with you when you step up
to home plate.
A
“banjo hitter” lacks punch or power in the batters box, so
he usually knocks “Texas League” bloop singles into the
shortfields – just beyond the reach of any infielder or outfielder.
Or he knocks infield “scratch hits”, “slap hits” or “punch
hits”. Or maybe sometimes a surprise “drag bunt”. The point
is the batter swings with easy restraint, just enough to get the ball
in play somewhere -- anywhere! This is otherwise known as “Hit ‘em
where they ain’t!”
The
term “banjo hitter” originated for purely sonic reasons –
players recalling the sound such a hit makes when ball makes contact
with bat to an accompanying country twang. It remains to be
seen if the Clippers develop a team with at least one such sagacious
hitter. If they do, you can expect that hitter to also be swift
afoot.
*
* *
Paint
The Black
Any
contending ball club needs great pitching. And it helps to have one
or two “aces” who can “paint the black”. This term is often
tossed between catchers and pitchers. It refers to the black trim
around home plate.
These
black marks help umpires determine the edges of home in their
peripheral vision. A pitcher who “paints the black” is someone
who can throw strikes on the extreme right and left sides of the
plate. But if a pitcher can’t get these tough inside/outside
strikes, batters eventually end up collecting “bags” or “sacks”
which sometimes leads to “runs”!
* * *
Around
the Horn
A
baseball goes “around the horn” after a pitcher’s last warmup
toss, or after a strikeout with the bases empty for the first or
second out of an inning. The term may also be applied to double or
triple plays. “Around the horn” is such a ritual, most
infielders participate without thinking much about it.
The
term recalls a time long before air flight, when transcontinental
travel was long and arduous – like sailing around Africa via Cape
Horn, also known to weary steamship travelers as “around The Horn”.
For
anyone keeping score, an “around-the-horn” ball often goes
“2-to-5-to-6-to-4” – from catcher to third base to shortstop to
second base around the infield. This is baseball body language for
the defensive team, visibly demonstrating that it is opposed to
forward movement of any baserunners, who all must run counter
clockwise – against the grain of this basic infielders ritual.
*
* *
Sources:
No comments:
Post a Comment